Wondering if you're a liberal?

By William Stenberg published in the Post-Tribune, Mr. Stenberg is a social studies teacher at East Chicago Central High School

Since the inception of talk radio, some ambiguity has arisen over the term "liberal." Many who once wore the moniker on their sleeves have been forced to defend it by seeking refuge behind a dictionary, citing it's meaning as "generous, tolerant and open-minded."

While casual observers of political issues and events may concur with that definition, those who stay up to speed know in the political lexicon the term means something entirely different.

Ergo, for the benefit of those who are scratching their heads as to why the word has taken on such a perjorative meaning, I would like to offer a guide to those who are unsure if they are liberals.

You may be a liberal if ...

• You criticized the first President Bush for not forcing Saddam from power, then criticized the current President Bush for forcing Saddam from power.
• You insist Bush lied when he claimed Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, while the Clintons, Kerrys et al., were victimized by bad intelligence when they made the same allegations.
• You think the American military presence in Iraq has goaded kind and gentle terrorists into becoming vicious.
• You think George Bush is a bigger terrorist than Saddam or Osama bin Laden.
• You claim to support our troops while equating them with Hitler, Stalin, and-or Pol Pot.
• You find a moral equivalence between our troops putting naked Iraqi prisoners on dog leashes, with terrorists severing heads of American hostages
• You want photos of our troops putting naked Iraqi prisoners on dog leashes to be shown as often as possible, but are four-square against airing video showing terrorists severing the heads of American hostages. Ditto for the footage of the planes crashing into the World Trade Center.
• You couldnt get enough of the videotaped police beating of Rodney King, but denounced the video of "Football" Williams beating Reginald Denny as divisive.
• You are more offended by a Nativity scene than by the Maplethorpe art exhibit depicting Christ as a sodomizer.
• You denounced Trent Lott for his remarks praising Strom Thurmond, but dismissed similiar remarks made by Chris Dodd praising KKK Grand Wizard Robert Byrd (assuming you knew about them)
• You claim state's rights is coded language for racism, then assert state's rights when the federal government seeks to overturn state ballot initiatives legalizing medicinal marijuana use.
• You denounce Ronald Reagan for his southern strategy off launching his 1980 presidential campaign from Meridian, MS but overlook Bill Clinton's southern strategy of publicly trashing Sistah Souljah.
• You sing the praises of public education while sending your children to a private or parochial school.
• You acknowledge the theory of evolution as being incendiary and inflammatory toward African-Americans, yet insist it be taught in public schools
• You denounce the rich (a generalized term with no dollar amount attached) and oppose tax cuts, while sheltering as much of your income from taxation as the law permits.
• You think a CEO making an annual salary of $5 million is exorbitant, but an actor making a salary of $20 million per picture is not.
• You agree with those who shout down speakers with whom they disagree, while patting yourself on the back for being "tolerant" of divergent views.
• Your tolerance of divergent views extends only to those whose views are to the left of yours.
• You cite the pope as a beacon of morality when he denounces war and capital punishment, but sicmiss him as an out-of-touch relic when he expresses equal condemnation toward abortion and homosexuality.
• You purport to support gay marriage, yet denounce any ballot initiative seeking to legalize as divisive.
• And finally, you most assuredly may be a liberal if your lifestyle is inconsistent with the way you vote.

Thanks Mr. Stenberg, must be a fun class!!!